"I don't mind dying if I have to, but I'm damned if I want to pay for the guarantee. I'm sorry"
About this Quote
As an actor whose image traded heavily on decency and plainspoken morality, Landon knew how to make a complicated stance sound like common sense. The profanity ("damned") isn't edginess for its own sake; it's a pressure release, a way of marking the boundary between reasonable precaution and predatory certainty. He's puncturing the ritual politeness that often surrounds mortality, replacing it with consumer skepticism: if death is non-negotiable, why are we being upsold on peace of mind?
The trailing "I'm sorry" is the tell. It suggests he's aware this defiance violates social expectations - that refusing the "guarantee" can sound reckless, ungrateful, or disrespectful to loved ones. It's an apology for refusing to perform fear correctly. Subtextually, Landon is calling out an economy built on anxiety: you can accept fragility without letting it become a billing category.
Quote Details
| Topic | Dark Humor |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Landon, Michael. (2026, January 16). I don't mind dying if I have to, but I'm damned if I want to pay for the guarantee. I'm sorry. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-dont-mind-dying-if-i-have-to-but-im-damned-if-i-88939/
Chicago Style
Landon, Michael. "I don't mind dying if I have to, but I'm damned if I want to pay for the guarantee. I'm sorry." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-dont-mind-dying-if-i-have-to-but-im-damned-if-i-88939/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I don't mind dying if I have to, but I'm damned if I want to pay for the guarantee. I'm sorry." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-dont-mind-dying-if-i-have-to-but-im-damned-if-i-88939/. Accessed 11 Feb. 2026.








