"I experience a period of frightening clarity in those moments when nature is so beautiful. I am no longer sure of myself, and the paintings appear as in a dream"

Van Gogh’s words express a complex interplay between awe and instability, shaped by his direct encounters with nature’s beauty. When overwhelmed by the striking grandeur or tranquility of the natural world, the boundaries between self and environment blur, leaving him uncertain of his personal identity and senses. The phrase “a period of frightening clarity” melds contradiction, clarity that should comfort, yet instead induces fear. This heightened perception strips away ordinary filters, revealing the world in such vividness that it’s almost too raw or overwhelming to bear. In that state, Van Gogh’s internal compass falters; the security of habitual perception dissolves. He finds himself exposed, vulnerable, perhaps dwarfed by the majesty and immensity of what he sees.

Such moments force him to confront the limitations of self-assurance, inviting a surrender to forces larger than the individual ego. Nature’s beauty becomes so intense that it destabilizes rather than grounds him. Sensing this, Van Gogh acknowledges that his artworks emerge from this altered consciousness, as if they arise autonomously in a dreamlike manner. The creative act is no longer fully volitional or under rational control; it is propelled by a trance, an altered state bordering on the unconscious. The dream metaphor likens the process to one where logic and order are suspended, and images emerge from a place both intimate and mysterious.

There is both wonder and danger in these moments. Beauty becomes a trigger for psychological upheaval, for a dissolving of personal boundaries. Instead of the artist mastering his material, he finds himself merely a conduit, channeling visions that appear unbidden, shaped by the overpowering presence of nature. This experience typifies Van Gogh’s sensitivity and openness, his capacity to be moved and changed by what he perceives, even if it costs him his stability or confidence. The quote reveals art as an act of surrender, creativity as a journey through both terror and transcendence.