"I felt that there were so many people doing it that I would just be like one of the others"
About this Quote
There’s a bleak, almost bureaucratic logic in Kelli White’s line: if everyone is doing it, then doing it stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like the admission price. The sentence isn’t dressed up with defiance or self-pity. It’s plain, practical, and that’s what makes it land. White frames her decision less as ambition than as avoidance of standing out for the wrong reason. Not to be exceptional, just not to be left behind.
The subtext is a culture where “clean” isn’t a moral category so much as a competitive disadvantage. “One of the others” is the tell: it suggests a herd mentality, but also a kind of refuge. If wrongdoing is normalized, individual guilt diffuses. The language of sameness becomes a shield against accountability - not just hers, but the sport’s. It’s the psychological move that turns an ethical breach into a market correction.
In the context of track and field’s doping eras, the quote reads like an x-ray of a system that rewards results and externalizes the costs. The pressure isn’t only medals and money; it’s the fear of being the lone purist in a race that’s already been rigged. White’s phrasing also hints at how institutions and peer networks can create an unofficial consensus: you don’t have to be told to cheat when the incentives shout it.
What makes the line work is its deadpan honesty. It doesn’t ask for absolution; it implicates a whole ecosystem where conformity can feel like survival.
The subtext is a culture where “clean” isn’t a moral category so much as a competitive disadvantage. “One of the others” is the tell: it suggests a herd mentality, but also a kind of refuge. If wrongdoing is normalized, individual guilt diffuses. The language of sameness becomes a shield against accountability - not just hers, but the sport’s. It’s the psychological move that turns an ethical breach into a market correction.
In the context of track and field’s doping eras, the quote reads like an x-ray of a system that rewards results and externalizes the costs. The pressure isn’t only medals and money; it’s the fear of being the lone purist in a race that’s already been rigged. White’s phrasing also hints at how institutions and peer networks can create an unofficial consensus: you don’t have to be told to cheat when the incentives shout it.
What makes the line work is its deadpan honesty. It doesn’t ask for absolution; it implicates a whole ecosystem where conformity can feel like survival.
Quote Details
| Topic | Confidence |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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