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Daily Inspiration Quote by Woody Allen

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys"

About this Quote

Woody Allen’s line lands because it takes the old machismo brag about speed and flips it into a portrait of humiliating slowness. “Bad reflexes” is already a modest self-diagnosis; the punchline detonates when the threat isn’t even a real car in motion, just a car being pushed by “two guys.” The image is slapstick in slow motion, the kind of physical gag you can practically storyboard, but the comedy is psychological: he’s not merely unathletic, he’s cosmically unprepared for life at its least demanding.

The specific intent is to weaponize self-deprecation as persona. Allen’s on-screen identity, especially in his early stand-up and films, is the anxious urban neurotic who treats everyday existence like a series of small, losing negotiations with reality. By choosing an absurdly low-speed accident, he doesn’t ask the audience to admire his candor; he asks them to recognize a shared fear that competence is a costume everyone else wears better.

Subtext-wise, the joke is about masculinity and agency. Getting hit by a pushed car suggests a failure so basic it can’t be redeemed by bad luck or external force. The “two guys” detail matters: it brings in witnesses, adds social embarrassment, and hints at a world where other people literally move things forward while he gets flattened.

Contextually, it fits Allen’s mid-century New York comedic lineage: Jewish Borscht Belt timing filtered through city-bred insecurity, where wit becomes armor and defeat becomes content. It’s funny because it’s a confession that arrives already edited into a punchline.

Quote Details

TopicWitty One-Liners
Source
Unverified source: Woody Allen (stand-up album): The Army (Woody Allen, 1964)
Text match: 85.00%   Provider: Cross-Reference
Evidence:
Track: "The Army" (recorded live at Mr. Kelly’s, Chicago, March 1964). The quote is from Woody Allen’s stand-up routine (not a book). In the routine he says: "I'm not a fighter. I, ah, I have bad reflexes, and I can't fight. I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys....
Other candidates (2)
Compelling Conversations: Questions and Quotations on Tim... (Eric H. Roth, Toni Aberson, 2010) compilation95.0%
... I have bad reflexes . I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys . " -Woody Allen ( 1935– ) , comedian...
Woody Allen (Woody Allen) compilation35.6%
ne unhappy therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much
Cite

Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Allen, Woody. (2026, January 13). I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-have-bad-reflexes-i-was-once-run-over-by-a-car-16045/

Chicago Style
Allen, Woody. "I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys." FixQuotes. January 13, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-have-bad-reflexes-i-was-once-run-over-by-a-car-16045/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys." FixQuotes, 13 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-have-bad-reflexes-i-was-once-run-over-by-a-car-16045/. Accessed 19 Feb. 2026.

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Woody Allen

Woody Allen (born December 1, 1935) is a Director from USA.

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