Parenting & Family Quote by Harry S. Truman

Truman’s line is a politician’s wisdom smuggled into parenting advice: people don’t follow instructions, they follow their own appetites. The joke lands because it pretends to be selfless counsel while admitting the real lever is consent. Find out what they want, then “advise” them to do it - and suddenly you’re not the nag, you’re the wise elder whose blessing makes the same decision feel sanctioned, even inevitable.

The intent isn’t to surrender authority; it’s to preserve it. Truman understood, as a president who had to herd Congress, allies, and voters, that command-and-control works best as theater. You don’t win by insisting; you win by aligning yourself with the direction the other person is already leaning, then reframing their momentum as your guidance. In that light, the quote is less about indulgence than about strategy: the parent (or leader) keeps influence by staying close to desire rather than opposing it head-on.

The subtext is a gentle cynicism about human nature and a clear-eyed respect for autonomy. Children, like citizens, have their own politics. Truman’s phrasing also nods to the face-saving function of “advice”: it lets the adult maintain the posture of responsibility while granting the child a choice.

Context matters: Truman governed during moments when brute certainty could have been tempting - the early Cold War, labor unrest, postwar reconstruction. His public persona mixed plain talk with shrewd coalition-building. This quip distills that governing style into a domestic principle: leadership is often the art of ratifying reality before reality embarrasses you.