"I like women who haven’t lived with too many men. I don’t expect virginity but I simply prefer women who haven’t been rubbed raw by experience. There is a quality about women who choose men sparingly; it appears in their walk in their eyes in their laughter and in their gentle hearts. Women who have had too many men seem to choose the next one out of revenge rather than with feeling. When you play the field selfishly everything works against you: one can’t insist on love or demand affection. You’re finally left with whatever you have been willing to give which often is: nothing"
About this Quote
The move is classic Bukowski: he sentimentalizes “women who choose men sparingly” with a soft-focus inventory (“walk”, “eyes”, “laughter”, “gentle hearts”), then pivots to a harsher stereotype of the sexually experienced woman as vengeful and transactional. The subtext reads like a moral economy where women carry the costs of desire while men keep the authority to judge it. He’s not just describing women; he’s sorting them into categories that protect his own longing from rejection.
Yet the final lines complicate the posture. “You’re finally left with whatever you have been willing to give” sounds less like a verdict on women than a self-indictment: a poet who built a brand on selfishness admitting its emotional interest rate. In context, Bukowski’s oeuvre is crowded with yearning and contempt sharing the same barstool. This quote works because it weaponizes vulnerability: it asks to be read as hard-earned truth, while quietly begging for a kind of love that won’t make him feel replaceable.
Quote Details
| Topic | Relationship |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Bukowski, Charles. (2026, February 10). I like women who haven’t lived with too many men. I don’t expect virginity but I simply prefer women who haven’t been rubbed raw by experience. There is a quality about women who choose men sparingly; it appears in their walk in their eyes in their laughter and in their gentle hearts. Women who have had too many men seem to choose the next one out of revenge rather than with feeling. When you play the field selfishly everything works against you: one can’t insist on love or demand affection. You’re finally left with whatever you have been willing to give which often is: nothing. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-like-women-who-havent-lived-with-too-many-men-i-185119/
Chicago Style
Bukowski, Charles. "I like women who haven’t lived with too many men. I don’t expect virginity but I simply prefer women who haven’t been rubbed raw by experience. There is a quality about women who choose men sparingly; it appears in their walk in their eyes in their laughter and in their gentle hearts. Women who have had too many men seem to choose the next one out of revenge rather than with feeling. When you play the field selfishly everything works against you: one can’t insist on love or demand affection. You’re finally left with whatever you have been willing to give which often is: nothing." FixQuotes. February 10, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-like-women-who-havent-lived-with-too-many-men-i-185119/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I like women who haven’t lived with too many men. I don’t expect virginity but I simply prefer women who haven’t been rubbed raw by experience. There is a quality about women who choose men sparingly; it appears in their walk in their eyes in their laughter and in their gentle hearts. Women who have had too many men seem to choose the next one out of revenge rather than with feeling. When you play the field selfishly everything works against you: one can’t insist on love or demand affection. You’re finally left with whatever you have been willing to give which often is: nothing." FixQuotes, 10 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-like-women-who-havent-lived-with-too-many-men-i-185119/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.
