"I loved music, but I found myself at the point where I wanted to die. I didn't care about life"

In this quote, Brian Welch is revealing his conflicting emotions towards music and life. He specifies that he loved music, however at the exact same time, he was at a point in his life where he seemed like he wished to die. This suggests that although music brought him delight and passion, it was inadequate to overcome the frustrating sensation of hopelessness and anguish he was experiencing. He goes on to say that he didn't appreciate life, indicating a deep sense of passiveness and detachment from the world around him. This quote highlights the battles and inner chaos that Welch was dealing with during this time in his life.