"I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still"
About this Quote
Trust a food writer to treat altitude and motion as culinary deal-breakers. Calvin Trillin’s line is funny because it sounds like a fussy rule delivered with the calm authority of a man who has tested the data. But the punch isn’t just fear of heights or seasickness; it’s a deadpan refusal to let “experience” bully the basic pleasures of eating. If a restaurant needs to be in a skyscraper or floating on a boat to justify itself, Trillin implies, it’s already admitting the food can’t carry the night.
The phrasing does a lot of work. “Over a hundred feet” gives the joke a pseudo-engineering precision, as if he’s set an official, reasonable limit. Then “won’t stand still” sneaks in like a second clause in a contract, widening the target from rooftop dining to cruise ships, dinner trains, even any novelty venue that sells movement as romance. Trillin’s humor lives in that grown-up shrug: you can keep your gimmicks; he’ll keep his appetite.
The subtext is a cultural critique of upscale dining’s tendency toward spectacle. The higher the elevator ride, the more a place can charge for the view; the more the room literally moves, the more it can market itself as an “event.” Trillin, a journalist with populist instincts, punctures that status chase without preaching. He’s not against pleasure; he’s against being pressured into performative pleasure. The best meals, he suggests, don’t need vertigo. They need a table that stays put.
The phrasing does a lot of work. “Over a hundred feet” gives the joke a pseudo-engineering precision, as if he’s set an official, reasonable limit. Then “won’t stand still” sneaks in like a second clause in a contract, widening the target from rooftop dining to cruise ships, dinner trains, even any novelty venue that sells movement as romance. Trillin’s humor lives in that grown-up shrug: you can keep your gimmicks; he’ll keep his appetite.
The subtext is a cultural critique of upscale dining’s tendency toward spectacle. The higher the elevator ride, the more a place can charge for the view; the more the room literally moves, the more it can market itself as an “event.” Trillin, a journalist with populist instincts, punctures that status chase without preaching. He’s not against pleasure; he’s against being pressured into performative pleasure. The best meals, he suggests, don’t need vertigo. They need a table that stays put.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|
More Quotes by Calvin
Add to List








