"I think about death every day - what it would be like, why it would happen to me. It would be humiliating to be afraid"
About this Quote
That word "humiliating" is the tell. Fear gets recast as a failure of composure, a kind of social awkwardness in front of the only certainty. It’s not stoicism as serenity so much as stoicism as self-respect: the refusal to grant death the power of making you small. Rendell’s line also hints at a writer’s pragmatism. She’s not daydreaming about the afterlife; she’s running scenarios, interrogating motive: what it would be like, why it would happen to me. Those are the questions of a crime novelist, where death is both plot device and moral reckoning, and where people often meet their end for reasons that are legible only in retrospect.
The subtext is control. You can’t control whether death arrives, but you can control the story you tell yourself while waiting. By rehearsing the idea daily, she’s practicing a kind of psychological inoculation: repeated exposure to the dread until it loses its theatrical grip. Rendell doesn’t romanticize mortality; she diminishes it, making fear the true indignity and composure the last available form of agency.
Quote Details
| Topic | Mortality |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Rendell, Ruth. (2026, January 16). I think about death every day - what it would be like, why it would happen to me. It would be humiliating to be afraid. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-think-about-death-every-day-what-it-would-be-106817/
Chicago Style
Rendell, Ruth. "I think about death every day - what it would be like, why it would happen to me. It would be humiliating to be afraid." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-think-about-death-every-day-what-it-would-be-106817/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I think about death every day - what it would be like, why it would happen to me. It would be humiliating to be afraid." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-think-about-death-every-day-what-it-would-be-106817/. Accessed 4 Feb. 2026.








