"I think we're socialized out of being women, and then we have to find our way back to it. That's hard to do"
About this Quote
The line’s subtext is less about gender as biology than gender as permission. Dukakis implies there’s an original, unedited self - full of appetite, anger, ambition, eroticism, humor - that gets sanded down by institutions: family expectations, beauty culture, workplace etiquette, the constant auditioning for approval. “Find our way back” makes it sound like a trek home after exile, not a makeover. It also suggests the damage is cumulative and normalized; you don’t notice the distance until you’re far away.
“That’s hard to do” is the most devastating part because it’s not performative empowerment. It’s a veteran’s realism. Dukakis, who often played women with grit under the gloss, is pointing at the cost of survival: you adapt to get by, then later you have to unlearn the adaptation. The intent isn’t to romanticize “real womanhood” but to name the labor of reclamation - and the fact that no one gives you a map back.
Quote Details
| Topic | Equality |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Dukakis, Olympia. (2026, January 16). I think we're socialized out of being women, and then we have to find our way back to it. That's hard to do. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-think-were-socialized-out-of-being-women-and-82262/
Chicago Style
Dukakis, Olympia. "I think we're socialized out of being women, and then we have to find our way back to it. That's hard to do." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-think-were-socialized-out-of-being-women-and-82262/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I think we're socialized out of being women, and then we have to find our way back to it. That's hard to do." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-think-were-socialized-out-of-being-women-and-82262/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.









