"I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian"
About this Quote
The subtext is a little bruised, too. Garrett’s comedy persona has often traded on being the big guy with the weary eyes: someone who knows the world is absurd but still wants a functioning set of rules. Teaching represents that impulse toward order and usefulness. Comedy, by contrast, is usefulness smuggled in under laughter. It’s education with plausible deniability.
Context matters because Garrett comes from the school of stand-up and sitcom craft where timing is labor, not magic. In that ecosystem, “comedian” isn’t a glamorous identity; it’s a survival strategy. Saying he’d be a teacher if he weren’t funny reframes the profession as service work rather than self-expression. It also flatters the audience in a subtle way: you’re not just being entertained, you’re being guided - through awkward truths, social friction, the stuff polite conversation can’t metabolize.
It’s a throwaway line that quietly argues comedy is a civic skill, not a punchline factory.
Quote Details
| Topic | Teaching |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Garrett, Brad. (2026, January 17). I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-would-probably-be-a-teacher-if-i-werent-a-56834/
Chicago Style
Garrett, Brad. "I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-would-probably-be-a-teacher-if-i-werent-a-56834/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-would-probably-be-a-teacher-if-i-werent-a-56834/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.





