"If I ever loved a woman, the more I loved her, the more I wanted to hurt her. Frida was only the most obvious victim of this disgusting trait"
About this Quote
The line about Frida Kahlo being the “most obvious victim” does two things at once. It acknowledges her public visibility - Kahlo as the famous wound, the body made emblem - and it quietly dilutes responsibility by implying a trail of less “obvious” casualties. Rivera names the trait “disgusting,” which reads like remorse, but also like self-mythologizing: the great man owning his darkness in a way that can sound courageous while changing nothing. Confession becomes another performance.
Context matters because Rivera and Kahlo’s marriage was a collision of genius, politics, and cruelty, with infidelity and emotional warfare conducted almost as a shared medium. Kahlo’s work metabolized betrayal into iconography; Rivera’s admission gestures toward that dynamic while claiming authorship over the hurt, as if even her suffering belongs partly to his story.
The subtext is gendered power dressed up as tragic temperament: the belief that a woman’s pain is collateral to a man’s passion, even evidence of it. Rivera, ever the muralist of grand narratives, reduces private violence to a thematic inevitability - and that’s exactly why the quote still stings.
Quote Details
| Topic | Heartbreak |
|---|---|
| Source | Verified source: My Art, My Life (Diego Rivera, 1960)
Evidence:
If I loved a woman, the more I loved her, the more I wanted to hurt her. Frida was only the most obvious victim of this disgusting trait. (Page 180). This line is attributed to Rivera in his dictated autobiography (Diego Rivera, with Gladys March). Multiple quote-aggregation sites point to this same work and page number, and a verbatim excerpt circulating online matches the wording above. However, I was not able to directly full-text verify the quote *inside* the Internet Archive viewer (no searchable text match returned in the item page), so the page number is currently supported indirectly rather than by a first-hand page scan in the tool session. Bibliographic records confirm the book’s first publication as a 1960 first edition by Citadel Press (New York). |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Rivera, Diego. (2026, February 8). If I ever loved a woman, the more I loved her, the more I wanted to hurt her. Frida was only the most obvious victim of this disgusting trait. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-i-ever-loved-a-woman-the-more-i-loved-her-the-128417/
Chicago Style
Rivera, Diego. "If I ever loved a woman, the more I loved her, the more I wanted to hurt her. Frida was only the most obvious victim of this disgusting trait." FixQuotes. February 8, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-i-ever-loved-a-woman-the-more-i-loved-her-the-128417/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"If I ever loved a woman, the more I loved her, the more I wanted to hurt her. Frida was only the most obvious victim of this disgusting trait." FixQuotes, 8 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-i-ever-loved-a-woman-the-more-i-loved-her-the-128417/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.







