"If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?"
About this Quote
The brilliance is in the grammar: "must we" turns private discomfort into a collective problem. It’s not "should I change" but "must we", pointing at social pressure as something organized, enforced, and normalized. The passive aggression of dress codes, workplace expectations, beauty norms, marriage scripts, even diagnostic labels - all of it lives inside that one small verb. The question also carries a quiet sting: if the shoe doesn’t fit, the rational response is to change the shoe. Asking someone to change their foot is obviously absurd, which is exactly Steinem’s point. Patriarchy often survives by making the absurd feel like etiquette.
Contextually, the line sits comfortably in Steinem’s second-wave feminist project: shifting attention from individual "fixes" (be less emotional, be more likable, smile, lean in, don’t age) to structural critique. It’s a rebuke to self-help culture before self-help became an industry, and it still lands now, in an era of curated bodies and "professionalism" that suspiciously resembles conformity. The quote doesn’t offer comfort; it offers permission to stop apologizing for not fitting a rigged mold.
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Steinem, Gloria. (2026, January 15). If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot? FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-the-shoe-doesnt-fit-must-we-change-the-foot-146537/
Chicago Style
Steinem, Gloria. "If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?" FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-the-shoe-doesnt-fit-must-we-change-the-foot-146537/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?" FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-the-shoe-doesnt-fit-must-we-change-the-foot-146537/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.










