"If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love"

Montaigne suggests that the most successful unions are rooted in friendship rather than in the passion commonly associated with romantic love. True friendship is characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and a steady commitment, all of which contribute to the stability and longevity of a relationship. In contrast, romantic love, while exhilarating and intense, can be fickle, often ignited by emotions that surge and wane and susceptible to the changing tides of time and circumstance.

A friendship-based marriage avoids the volatility inherent in passionate love. It is anchored in familiarity and the appreciation of each other's character and values. Friends accept one another’s flaws and idiosyncrasies without judgment or unrealistic expectations. In such a bond, trust flourishes, as does the freedom to be one's genuine self. Communication, honesty, and companionship take precedence; partners grow together, supporting one another’s development, aspirations, and well-being.

Friendship endures through life's challenges, whereas love alone, as it is often conceived, may falter when faced with adversity. The emotional stability found in friendship shields a marriage from the disappointments born of unmet romantic ideals or momentary desires. Intimacy expands beyond the boundaries of physical attraction; it becomes a deep emotional connection and a shared history built over time.

Montaigne’s observation offers a subtle critique of society’s idealization of passionate love as the primary foundation of marriage. It calls for a reevaluation of priorities, a shift from the animated thrills of romance to the quiet, enduring presence of camaraderie. Such a partnership tempers passion with patience, transforming short-lived infatuation into a sustainable, lifelong union. In essence, a marriage modeled on friendship transcends the transient and aspires toward a companionship that time cannot easily erode. Through friendship, marriage achieves the goodness and satisfaction that mere love cannot guarantee.