"If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find"
About this Quote
As a late-Victorian critic, Collins writes from a culture obsessed with respectability, where public virtue often functioned as social currency and private life was policed by gossip, class codes, and sexual reticence. In that environment, “secrets” accumulate by design. The sentence reads like a rebuttal to the era’s polished surfaces: the drawing-room performance, the moral certainty, the curated reputations. Behind them, he suggests, are compromises, grief, desire, cowardice, tenderness - the stuff that makes people human but unpresentable.
The phrase “what comforts we should find” is deliberately mild, almost domestic, which makes the provocation sharper. Comfort is what you seek from a friend, not what you expect from exposure. Collins threads a needle between empathy and indictment: empathy for the hidden burdens people carry, indictment of the social machinery that forces those burdens underground. The intent feels both ethical and tactical - urging critics (and readers) to swap easy judgment for imaginative access, because the knowledge of others’ concealed lives would make our own loneliness harder to sustain.
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
|---|---|
| Source | Later attribution: The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women (Valerie Young, 2011) modern compilationISBN: 9780307452733 · ID: kO3XT9s-i-kC
Evidence:
... John Churton Collins was right when he said , " If we knew each other's secrets , what comforts we should find . " Just being in the company of like - minded women was tre- mendously reassuring . Everything was going pretty well until ... |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Collins, John Churton. (2026, February 14). If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-we-knew-each-others-secrets-what-comforts-we-103035/
Chicago Style
Collins, John Churton. "If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find." FixQuotes. February 14, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-we-knew-each-others-secrets-what-comforts-we-103035/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find." FixQuotes, 14 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-we-knew-each-others-secrets-what-comforts-we-103035/. Accessed 19 Feb. 2026.






