"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us"
About this Quote
The intent is less to excuse bad behavior than to expose the emotional economy of condemnation. Hate feels righteous because it offers clarity and distance: I am not like that. Hesse’s move is to collapse that distance, implying that the traits we attack most ferociously are often the ones we’ve disowned in ourselves. The subtext is Jungian shadow-work before it became a self-help cliché: the disavowed parts of the self don’t disappear; they reappear as disgust, fixation, obsession with the “type” of person who seems to embody what we refuse to admit lives in us.
Context matters. Hesse, writing in a Europe rattled by nationalism, war, and ideological purity tests, watched how easily societies convert inner conflict into external enemies. The quote reads like a private ethic meant to resist that drift: before you turn hatred into a politics, ask what in you is asking to be faced.
Quote Details
| Topic | Wisdom |
|---|---|
| Source | Hermann Hesse, Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth (1919). The passage is widely attributed to Hesse's novel Demian in English translations. |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Hesse, Hermann. (2026, January 17). If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-you-hate-a-person-you-hate-something-in-him-63809/
Chicago Style
Hesse, Hermann. "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-you-hate-a-person-you-hate-something-in-him-63809/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-you-hate-a-person-you-hate-something-in-him-63809/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.












