"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us"
About this Quote
Hesse is smuggling a psychological hand grenade into the polite language of moral judgment. Hatred, in this framing, isn’t a clean response to someone else’s wrongdoing; it’s a kind of involuntary self-portrait. The line turns the usual narrative inside out: the “problem” isn’t out there in the hated person, it’s in here, vibrating at a frequency you recognize. That’s why it disturbs you. Indifference is the real tell. If something truly has nothing to do with your own fears, temptations, or unclaimed desires, it barely registers.
The intent is less to excuse bad behavior than to expose the emotional economy of condemnation. Hate feels righteous because it offers clarity and distance: I am not like that. Hesse’s move is to collapse that distance, implying that the traits we attack most ferociously are often the ones we’ve disowned in ourselves. The subtext is Jungian shadow-work before it became a self-help cliché: the disavowed parts of the self don’t disappear; they reappear as disgust, fixation, obsession with the “type” of person who seems to embody what we refuse to admit lives in us.
Context matters. Hesse, writing in a Europe rattled by nationalism, war, and ideological purity tests, watched how easily societies convert inner conflict into external enemies. The quote reads like a private ethic meant to resist that drift: before you turn hatred into a politics, ask what in you is asking to be faced.
The intent is less to excuse bad behavior than to expose the emotional economy of condemnation. Hate feels righteous because it offers clarity and distance: I am not like that. Hesse’s move is to collapse that distance, implying that the traits we attack most ferociously are often the ones we’ve disowned in ourselves. The subtext is Jungian shadow-work before it became a self-help cliché: the disavowed parts of the self don’t disappear; they reappear as disgust, fixation, obsession with the “type” of person who seems to embody what we refuse to admit lives in us.
Context matters. Hesse, writing in a Europe rattled by nationalism, war, and ideological purity tests, watched how easily societies convert inner conflict into external enemies. The quote reads like a private ethic meant to resist that drift: before you turn hatred into a politics, ask what in you is asking to be faced.
Quote Details
| Topic | Wisdom |
|---|---|
| Source | Hermann Hesse, Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth (1919). The passage is widely attributed to Hesse's novel Demian in English translations. |
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