"If you want to control other people, first control yourself"
About this Quote
Coming from Abu Bakr, the first caliph and an early steward of a rapidly expanding community, the line carries the weight of governance under pressure: succession anxiety after the Prophet Muhammad's death, political fragmentation, and the temptations of coercion in the name of unity. The advice reads like a prophylactic against the most common failure mode of new regimes: leaders who cannot regulate themselves end up outsourcing their instability as policy. When fear runs the show, "control" turns into surveillance, spectacle, and forced conformity. When restraint runs the show, control becomes something closer to order: clear rules, consistency, and moral credibility.
The subtext is also a warning about legitimacy. In communities built on shared belief rather than sheer force, the leader's interior life becomes public infrastructure. Self-control is not just personal virtue; it's a signal that authority is accountable to a standard higher than mood or appetite. Abu Bakr isn't romanticizing meekness. He's drawing a hard boundary: if you cannot govern the one person you fully possess, any attempt to govern others will be either hypocrisy or violence, dressed up as leadership.
Quote Details
| Topic | Self-Discipline |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Bakr, Abu. (n.d.). If you want to control other people, first control yourself. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-you-want-to-control-other-people-first-control-41583/
Chicago Style
Bakr, Abu. "If you want to control other people, first control yourself." FixQuotes. Accessed February 2, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-you-want-to-control-other-people-first-control-41583/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"If you want to control other people, first control yourself." FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/if-you-want-to-control-other-people-first-control-41583/. Accessed 2 Feb. 2026.








