"I'm now convinced that I'm a doctor. I mean, if someone says they have a pain, I'm like, 'Well, that's your spleen.'"
About this Quote
The punchline hinges on specificity. “That’s your spleen” is funny precisely because it’s absurdly concrete. Most people couldn’t locate their spleen on a diagram, which makes Wilde’s instant diagnosis both brazen and useless in the same breath. It’s the comedic version of armchair expertise: confident enough to be delivered like a verdict, vague enough to be wrong for almost any pain. She’s mimicking the tone of the amateur who’s learned just enough anatomy vocabulary to perform competence at a dinner table.
There’s also a sly critique of how we talk about health now. Pain becomes content, a prompt for audience participation, and the “doctor” becomes anyone willing to narrate certainty. Wilde’s persona here is self-aware: she’s implicating herself in the same impulse she’s mocking, which keeps the bit from turning into smugness. The context is celebrity culture’s weird authority, too. Famous people are constantly asked to opine outside their lane; this joke punctures that dynamic by showing how easy it is to start believing your own hot takes, especially when the room laughs.
Quote Details
| Topic | Doctor |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Wilde, Olivia. (2026, January 16). I'm now convinced that I'm a doctor. I mean, if someone says they have a pain, I'm like, 'Well, that's your spleen.'. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/im-now-convinced-that-im-a-doctor-i-mean-if-130151/
Chicago Style
Wilde, Olivia. "I'm now convinced that I'm a doctor. I mean, if someone says they have a pain, I'm like, 'Well, that's your spleen.'." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/im-now-convinced-that-im-a-doctor-i-mean-if-130151/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I'm now convinced that I'm a doctor. I mean, if someone says they have a pain, I'm like, 'Well, that's your spleen.'." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/im-now-convinced-that-im-a-doctor-i-mean-if-130151/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.



