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War & Peace Quote by Cyril Connolly

"In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female"

About this Quote

A neat little grenade of mid-century cynicism: Connolly frames heterosexual conflict as a "war" where each side has a signature vice. Men deploy "thoughtlessness" not as mere stupidity but as strategic neglect - the quiet power of not noticing, not remembering, not accommodating. It reads like a portrait of entitlement so normalized it can pass as innocence. Women, in his telling, answer with "vindictiveness": not direct force, but the retaliatory accounting of slights, the moral ledger weaponized after the fact.

The line works because it refuses romance entirely. "Sex war" collapses intimacy into tactics, implying that even tenderness is a cover for leverage. Connolly's pairing also flatters the speaker's pose as the cold-eyed realist: above the battlefield, naming the weapons as if they're anthropological facts. Yet the subtext betrays a familiar asymmetry. Male harm gets described as passive and unthinking, almost accidental; female harm is active, intentional, sharpened into motive. That tilt mirrors the period's gender scripts: men as default actors in public life, women as emotional managers in private life, with anger coded as petty or corrosive rather than political.

Connolly, a journalist and literary critic with a reputation for elegant pessimism, is writing from a milieu where domestic life is both central and strangely unspeakable - handled in epigrams instead of policy. Read now, the quote lands less as timeless truth than as a snapshot of a culture trying to aestheticize unequal power: turning structural imbalance into a witty, bleak symmetry.

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APA Style (7th ed.)
Connolly, Cyril. (2026, January 17). In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/in-the-sex-war-thoughtlessness-is-the-weapon-of-67373/

Chicago Style
Connolly, Cyril. "In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/in-the-sex-war-thoughtlessness-is-the-weapon-of-67373/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/in-the-sex-war-thoughtlessness-is-the-weapon-of-67373/. Accessed 8 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

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Cyril Connolly (September 10, 1903 - November 26, 1974) was a Journalist from England.

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