"Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking"
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Insomnia, in Fadiman's hands, isn’t a symptom so much as a scavenger with a strong stomach. Calling it a "gross feeder" turns the sleepless night into a kind of grotesque ecology: the mind produces scraps, and wakefulness devours them, growing larger the more you try to starve it. The phrasing has the prim, mid-century bite of a literary man who knows that the most ordinary torment is also the most narratable. "Gross" lands as both disgust and excess. It’s not just unpleasant; it’s indecently hearty.
The line works because it nails the trap at the center of modern self-management. We’re trained to treat the mind like an appliance: turn it off, reduce inputs, optimize. Insomnia mocks that fantasy. It will "nourish itself on any kind of thinking" collapses high and low, profound and trivial, into the same fuel source. Worry about work, replay an awkward conversation, draft tomorrow’s apology speech - all calories.
The kicker, "including thinking about not thinking", is the purest description of the feedback loop. Effort becomes stimulus. The very strategy that’s supposed to deliver calm becomes a new performance, a new task to fail at, which produces more mental noise. Underneath the wit is a quiet indictment of a culture that moralizes control: the sleepless person isn’t merely tired, they’re caught in a self-consuming logic where even discipline feeds the beast.
The line works because it nails the trap at the center of modern self-management. We’re trained to treat the mind like an appliance: turn it off, reduce inputs, optimize. Insomnia mocks that fantasy. It will "nourish itself on any kind of thinking" collapses high and low, profound and trivial, into the same fuel source. Worry about work, replay an awkward conversation, draft tomorrow’s apology speech - all calories.
The kicker, "including thinking about not thinking", is the purest description of the feedback loop. Effort becomes stimulus. The very strategy that’s supposed to deliver calm becomes a new performance, a new task to fail at, which produces more mental noise. Underneath the wit is a quiet indictment of a culture that moralizes control: the sleepless person isn’t merely tired, they’re caught in a self-consuming logic where even discipline feeds the beast.
Quote Details
| Topic | Anxiety |
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