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Daily Inspiration Quote by Elizabeth Bowen

"Intimacies between women often go backwards, beginning in revelations and ending in small talk"

About this Quote

Elizabeth Bowen captures a paradox in the social life of women: the trajectory of closeness does not always follow the polite-to-profound arc. Strangers can become confidantes in an instant, through a crisis, a shared indignity, or a flash of recognition, and only later settle into the ordinary chatter of days. The reversal feels surprising because it contradicts conventional etiquette, which assumes small talk as the gateway to confession. Bowen suggests that the gate is sometimes flung open at once, and what follows is the unglamorous upkeep of intimacy.

Born in an Anglo-Irish world of drawing rooms, schools, and later wartime London, Bowen observed how gendered spaces could compress time, accelerate trust, and demand quick alliances. Women in her fiction often navigate constraint and danger with a keen ear for nuance; revelations serve as signals of solidarity. Once that solidarity is secured, conversation changes key. Small talk ceases to be a mask and becomes a medium of ease, a shorthand for the already-understood. The weather, shopping lists, the neighbor across the hall: these things, between friends who have already exchanged their secrets, carry the warmth of ordinary life.

Yet a faint melancholy lingers. Going backwards hints at loss, as if intensity must cool into routine. The movement from confession to pleasantry can look like retreat, a re-absorption into social forms that dictate what may be said. Bowen understood how public surfaces and private depths coexist, how meanings migrate into tone, pauses, and the unsaid. In her novels, the real conversation often happens offstage; by the time the characters are trading trivialities, the important knowledge is already shared and irreversible.

The line reframes small talk as the end condition of intimacy rather than its prelude. Far from trivial, it is the everyday ceremony that sustains what revelation initiated, proof that the friendship has survived the blaze and entered the hearth.

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TopicFriendship
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Intimacies between women often go backwards, beginning in revelations and ending in small talk
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About the Author

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Elizabeth Bowen (June 7, 1899 - February 22, 1973) was a Novelist from Ireland.

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