"It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from "Dear Abby" instead of going to Mom and Dad"
About this Quote
There is a neat little sting in the way Abigail Van Buren points the finger at her own fame. As “Dear Abby,” she made a career out of being the surrogate listener at the end of a postage stamp, yet here she frames that demand as cultural failure: kids writing to a columnist isn’t quaint Americana, it’s evidence of a broken domestic pipeline.
The line works because it’s built on a double displacement. First, intimacy gets outsourced: instead of the messy, uncurated work of talking to parents, young people route their private panic through a mediated public figure. Second, authority gets rerouted: Mom and Dad are still physically present, but no longer emotionally trusted. Van Buren isn’t just lamenting “kids these days”; she’s diagnosing an ecosystem where advice becomes a commodity and vulnerability needs anonymity to feel safe.
The phrase “sad commentary” also signals her journalistic ear. She’s treating family silence like a headline about the era, not a one-off tragedy. That fits the mid-to-late 20th-century moment her column helped define: suburbanization, generational churn, the loosening grip of traditional institutions, and the rise of mass media as a kind of secular confessional. “Dear Abby” was both symptom and solution, a public stage for private problems at a time when many households couldn’t speak frankly about sex, divorce, addiction, or simply disappointment.
Underneath the parental nostalgia is a tougher charge: when a culture trains children to perform “good” rather than admit need, the mailbag becomes the only honest room.
The line works because it’s built on a double displacement. First, intimacy gets outsourced: instead of the messy, uncurated work of talking to parents, young people route their private panic through a mediated public figure. Second, authority gets rerouted: Mom and Dad are still physically present, but no longer emotionally trusted. Van Buren isn’t just lamenting “kids these days”; she’s diagnosing an ecosystem where advice becomes a commodity and vulnerability needs anonymity to feel safe.
The phrase “sad commentary” also signals her journalistic ear. She’s treating family silence like a headline about the era, not a one-off tragedy. That fits the mid-to-late 20th-century moment her column helped define: suburbanization, generational churn, the loosening grip of traditional institutions, and the rise of mass media as a kind of secular confessional. “Dear Abby” was both symptom and solution, a public stage for private problems at a time when many households couldn’t speak frankly about sex, divorce, addiction, or simply disappointment.
Underneath the parental nostalgia is a tougher charge: when a culture trains children to perform “good” rather than admit need, the mailbag becomes the only honest room.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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