"It is almost the definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never inflicts pain"
About this Quote
Newman, a clergyman formed by the rigorous conscience of 19th-century England, is quietly rerouting a social ideal into a spiritual one. He borrows the cultural authority of “gentleman” (a word dripping with class confidence) and smuggles in a Christian ethic: considerateness as a kind of holiness. The intent is corrective. Victorian public life prized sharp wit, hard debate, and status display; Newman insists that sophistication without mercy is just another form of brutality.
The subtext is also discomforting for modern readers: “never” is impossible. That absolutism is the point. Newman sets a standard that can’t be met casually, forcing self-scrutiny about how we cause pain even when we think we’re being honest, efficient, or merely joking. In an era - and a present - where “telling it like it is” gets confused with virtue, he offers a rival prestige: the power to speak, disagree, and still leave the other person intact.
Quote Details
| Topic | Kindness |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Newman, John Henry. (2026, January 18). It is almost the definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never inflicts pain. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-almost-the-definition-of-a-gentleman-to-say-5649/
Chicago Style
Newman, John Henry. "It is almost the definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never inflicts pain." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-almost-the-definition-of-a-gentleman-to-say-5649/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"It is almost the definition of a gentleman to say that he is one who never inflicts pain." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-almost-the-definition-of-a-gentleman-to-say-5649/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.









