"It is difficult for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs"
About this Quote
Hardy slips a radical claim into a sentence that sounds almost politely resigned: the problem isn’t that women are inarticulate, it’s that the available instrument is rigged. “Language” here isn’t neutral grammar and vocabulary; it’s a cultural operating system, authored and maintained by men, optimized to name male experience as if it were the default. When a woman tries to “define her feelings,” she’s forced into a translation project - and translations always lose something, especially when the source culture is treated as secondary or suspect.
The phrasing does double work. “Difficult” understates the violence of the mismatch, letting Hardy indict patriarchy without sermonizing. “Chiefly made by men” is a quiet exposure of how power hides: not only in laws and money, but in the words that decide what counts as reasonable, hysterical, virtuous, obscene. The subtext is that women’s inner lives are real and complex, yet routinely misread because the public lexicon is already biased toward male categories of desire, ambition, honor, and control.
Context matters: Hardy’s novels (Tess, Jude) keep circling the gap between private feeling and social narration - the way institutions and gossip rewrite women into symbols. This line anticipates later feminist arguments about “male” discourse without the manifestos; it’s novelistic politics, smuggled through empathy. It also stays uncomfortably current: the language we use to talk about consent, caregiving, rage, or ambition still carries assumptions about whose emotions are legible and whose are “too much.”
The phrasing does double work. “Difficult” understates the violence of the mismatch, letting Hardy indict patriarchy without sermonizing. “Chiefly made by men” is a quiet exposure of how power hides: not only in laws and money, but in the words that decide what counts as reasonable, hysterical, virtuous, obscene. The subtext is that women’s inner lives are real and complex, yet routinely misread because the public lexicon is already biased toward male categories of desire, ambition, honor, and control.
Context matters: Hardy’s novels (Tess, Jude) keep circling the gap between private feeling and social narration - the way institutions and gossip rewrite women into symbols. This line anticipates later feminist arguments about “male” discourse without the manifestos; it’s novelistic politics, smuggled through empathy. It also stays uncomfortably current: the language we use to talk about consent, caregiving, rage, or ambition still carries assumptions about whose emotions are legible and whose are “too much.”
Quote Details
| Topic | Equality |
|---|---|
| Source | A Pair of Blue Eyes , novel by Thomas Hardy; commonly cited source of the quote. |
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