"It is difficult to imagine how any behavior in the presence of another person can avoid being a communication of one's own view of the nature of one's relationship with that person and how it can fail to influence that person"
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Watzlawick is laying a trap for anyone who thinks they can opt out of social meaning. The line is engineered to make “neutral” behavior look naive: even silence, even avoidance, even “I’m just being professional” is a message about how you rank the other person, what you think the situation is, and how much access they get to you. The intent is corrective, almost scolding: stop treating communication as something you switch on with words, and start noticing the constant signaling that builds (or erodes) relationships.
The subtext is power. If every act in someone else’s presence broadcasts your view of the relationship, then everyday life becomes a negotiation over status, intimacy, obligation, and boundary. A delayed reply isn’t just a delay; it’s a claim about priority. A joke isn’t just humor; it’s a test of closeness or a shield against vulnerability. By framing behavior as inevitably influential, Watzlawick also smuggles in responsibility: you may not control how you’re interpreted, but you can’t pretend your actions land nowhere.
Contextually, this sits squarely in the pragmatics of human communication associated with Watzlawick’s work at Palo Alto and the broader shift from seeing problems as inside individuals to seeing them inside interaction patterns. In therapy, that reframes “symptoms” as part of a relational loop; in culture, it punctures the myth of pure authenticity. You’re always talking, even when you insist you’re not.
The subtext is power. If every act in someone else’s presence broadcasts your view of the relationship, then everyday life becomes a negotiation over status, intimacy, obligation, and boundary. A delayed reply isn’t just a delay; it’s a claim about priority. A joke isn’t just humor; it’s a test of closeness or a shield against vulnerability. By framing behavior as inevitably influential, Watzlawick also smuggles in responsibility: you may not control how you’re interpreted, but you can’t pretend your actions land nowhere.
Contextually, this sits squarely in the pragmatics of human communication associated with Watzlawick’s work at Palo Alto and the broader shift from seeing problems as inside individuals to seeing them inside interaction patterns. In therapy, that reframes “symptoms” as part of a relational loop; in culture, it punctures the myth of pure authenticity. You’re always talking, even when you insist you’re not.
Quote Details
| Topic | Relationship |
|---|---|
| Source | Pragmatics of Human Communication (1967), Paul Watzlawick, Janet Beavin Bavelas, Don D. Jackson — passage linked to the book's discussion of the axiom "one cannot not communicate" (exact page not provided). |
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