"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them"
About this Quote
Emerson, the great advocate of self-reliance, is often read as a prophet of solitary integrity. This line quietly complicates that posture. It suggests a different kind of freedom: not the heroic individual standing apart from the crowd, but the person who can stop curating the self because someone else already knows the whole messy archive. Old friendship becomes an antidote to what we'd now call constant self-branding.
The word "afford" matters. It frames social ease as a kind of wealth earned over time - interest accrued through shared history, forgiven slights, inside jokes, mutual witness. New relationships are expensive: you pay in vigilance. Old ones are capital: you can spend a little foolishness and not go bankrupt.
Written in a 19th-century culture of manners and reputation, the line also reads as a subtle critique of social aspiration. Emerson implies that the highest status isn't being impressive; it's being safe. The intent is less sentimental than it looks: he is defining intimacy as the ability to be unguarded, even unimpressive, without fear of exile.
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
|---|---|
| Source | Ralph Waldo Emerson, essay "Friendship", Essays: First Series (1841). |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. (2026, January 14). It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-one-of-the-blessings-of-old-friends-that-14187/
Chicago Style
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." FixQuotes. January 14, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-one-of-the-blessings-of-old-friends-that-14187/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." FixQuotes, 14 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-one-of-the-blessings-of-old-friends-that-14187/. Accessed 7 Feb. 2026.




