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Wit & Attitude Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them"

About this Quote

There is a sly generosity in Emerson calling stupidity a "blessing". He is not praising ignorance; he is praising the rare social space where performance drops away. With old friends, the usual tax of adulthood - competence, polish, being "on" - gets waived. You can miss the joke, tell the story badly, double back, contradict yourself, and still be loved. That is the point: stupidity here is permission, not deficiency.

Emerson, the great advocate of self-reliance, is often read as a prophet of solitary integrity. This line quietly complicates that posture. It suggests a different kind of freedom: not the heroic individual standing apart from the crowd, but the person who can stop curating the self because someone else already knows the whole messy archive. Old friendship becomes an antidote to what we'd now call constant self-branding.

The word "afford" matters. It frames social ease as a kind of wealth earned over time - interest accrued through shared history, forgiven slights, inside jokes, mutual witness. New relationships are expensive: you pay in vigilance. Old ones are capital: you can spend a little foolishness and not go bankrupt.

Written in a 19th-century culture of manners and reputation, the line also reads as a subtle critique of social aspiration. Emerson implies that the highest status isn't being impressive; it's being safe. The intent is less sentimental than it looks: he is defining intimacy as the ability to be unguarded, even unimpressive, without fear of exile.

Quote Details

TopicFriendship
SourceRalph Waldo Emerson, essay "Friendship", Essays: First Series (1841).
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Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. (2026, January 14). It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-one-of-the-blessings-of-old-friends-that-14187/

Chicago Style
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." FixQuotes. January 14, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-one-of-the-blessings-of-old-friends-that-14187/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." FixQuotes, 14 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-one-of-the-blessings-of-old-friends-that-14187/. Accessed 7 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803 - April 27, 1882) was a Philosopher from USA.

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