"It is only after one is in trouble that one realizes how little sympathy and kindness there are in the world"
About this Quote
As a journalist who made a career out of entering other people's emergencies - exposing asylum abuse, documenting factory labor, reporting from the margins - Bly isn't offering a private lament. She's describing a social mechanism. Sympathy is often performative when the stakes are low: it's easy to praise resilience from a safe distance, easy to admire suffering as a moral fable. Actual trouble is messy, inconvenient, contagious. It asks for time, money, and risk. That is when the culture's supposed kindness reveals its price tag.
The sentence also carries a gendered, class-aware bite. For women and the poor in Bly's America, "trouble" could mean scandal, illness, poverty, institutionalization - conditions that didn't just invite neglect but actively produced shame. The subtext is that empathy is rationed along lines of respectability. If your misfortune can be blamed on you, society feels licensed to withdraw.
Bly's intent isn't nihilism; it's exposure. By making the realization arrive "only after" trouble, she indicts the comfortable for mistaking a polite society for a compassionate one, and challenges readers to practice a kind of care that doesn't wait for proximity or proof.
Quote Details
| Topic | Kindness |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Bly, Nellie. (2026, January 15). It is only after one is in trouble that one realizes how little sympathy and kindness there are in the world. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-only-after-one-is-in-trouble-that-one-153045/
Chicago Style
Bly, Nellie. "It is only after one is in trouble that one realizes how little sympathy and kindness there are in the world." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-only-after-one-is-in-trouble-that-one-153045/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"It is only after one is in trouble that one realizes how little sympathy and kindness there are in the world." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-is-only-after-one-is-in-trouble-that-one-153045/. Accessed 4 Feb. 2026.








