Daily Inspiration Quote by Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

Friendship, Colette implies, is not some self-healing idyll; it is a machine with moving parts, friction points, and the occasional ugly squeal. The metaphor does the quiet work of demystifying intimacy. “Mechanism” strips friendship of its sentimental halo and replaces it with maintenance: gears that can grind, habits that can corrode, small misalignments that grow into failure. In that light, “the oil of refined politeness” isn’t falseness or distance; it’s the practical lubricant that keeps closeness from turning into entitlement.

The intent feels distinctly Colette: worldly, unsparing, and attentive to how desire, ego, and boredom creep into relationships. She’s writing from a culture where etiquette is both social currency and survival skill, especially for women navigating salons, marriages, and reputations. Politeness here functions as a technology of coexistence. It’s “refined” because it’s not the stiff, public kind; it’s the private discipline of phrasing, timing, restraint. The courtesy you offer a friend precisely because you know their weak spots and could hit them.

The subtext is almost counter-romantic: real intimacy doesn’t abolish manners; it demands better ones. Colette’s line also carries a mild warning against the modern fantasy of radical candor. When friends treat honesty as a license to be raw, they confuse authenticity with abrasion. Politeness, in her framing, becomes a form of care: not hiding the truth, but delivering it in a way that doesn’t strip the relationship’s gears.