"It was only as I wrote about it that I began to find paths of access to feelings that were intolerable to me then"
About this Quote
The intent is quietly corrective to the romance of immediate authenticity. Lethem isn’t claiming catharsis; he’s describing mediation. The “only as” sets a strict condition: access arrives through craft. The subtext is that memory and feeling can be too hot to touch unless they’re cooled into narrative. Writing becomes a technology for tolerating the self, converting raw experience into something you can handle without being flattened by it.
Context matters with Lethem, a novelist whose work often blurs autobiography, cultural detritus, and invented worlds. This line fits a late-20th/early-21st century literary sensibility that treats the writer less as confessor than as editor of trauma, someone who revisits the past with tools - syntax, structure, persona - that adolescence or crisis didn’t provide. The power is in the humility: not “I understood,” but “I found paths,” implying the work is ongoing, partial, and earned sentence by sentence.
Quote Details
| Topic | Writing |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Lethem, Jonathan. (2026, January 17). It was only as I wrote about it that I began to find paths of access to feelings that were intolerable to me then. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-was-only-as-i-wrote-about-it-that-i-began-to-52502/
Chicago Style
Lethem, Jonathan. "It was only as I wrote about it that I began to find paths of access to feelings that were intolerable to me then." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-was-only-as-i-wrote-about-it-that-i-began-to-52502/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"It was only as I wrote about it that I began to find paths of access to feelings that were intolerable to me then." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/it-was-only-as-i-wrote-about-it-that-i-began-to-52502/. Accessed 10 Feb. 2026.






