Parenting & Family Quote by Mignon McLaughlin

Parenting’s dirtiest secret is that competence rarely predicts payoff. McLaughlin’s line needles the fantasy that effort inputs guarantee emotional returns. The “child you can do the least with” isn’t a throwaway kid; it’s the one who doesn’t bend to your plans, the one immune to your coaching, your “helpful” corrections, your carefully researched strategies. The phrasing carries a sly shrug, “Likely as not,” as if she’s seen enough family dramas to trust the pattern: the child who resists being shaped is often the one who ends up surprising you.

The subtext is a critique of parental control disguised as reassurance. “Do the least with” implies the quiet violence of expectation - the urge to mold a personality into a résumé, to treat temperament as a problem to solve. McLaughlin flips the script: the kid who won’t cooperate with your image of success may be the kid most capable of defining success on their own terms. Pride, here, isn’t the trophy parents collect for good management; it’s a humbling, involuntary emotion that arrives when you stop mistaking guidance for ownership.

Context matters: a mid-century journalist writing in an era steeped in domestic ideals and prescriptive childrearing. McLaughlin’s wit is gentle but firm, landing a cultural correction without sermonizing. She’s telling parents to loosen their grip and watch for a different kind of achievement: resilience, self-direction, the kind of growth that doesn’t need your hand on the steering wheel.