"Lonely people, in talking to each other, can make each other lonelier"

Loneliness is often considered a longing for connection, for understanding, for someone to recognize and share our innermost thoughts and feelings. Yet, Lillian Hellman’s words expose a paradox at the heart of human relationships, that sometimes, even the act of reaching out, or engaging with another who shares a similar sense of solitude, can deepen our awareness of our own isolation rather than bridge it. When two lonely individuals converse, their words may circle around their isolation, amplifying rather than easing it. The silence between what is spoken and what is felt may grow more pronounced, as each person recognizes their own vulnerability reflected, but not quite answered, in the other.

The very attempt to connect can highlight the gulf that exists. Each person brings their own set of unmet needs, expectations, and unique emotional histories into the conversation. Sometimes, these stories are so personally nuanced that even a fellow lonely soul cannot fully comprehend or alleviate them. The effort to communicate one’s solitude exposes its depth; when met by similar stories, the exchange risks turning into a kind of echo chamber, reinforcing the shared sense of separateness rather than dissolving it.

There’s also a risk of disappointment, of hoping that another’s presence might fill the emptiness, only to discover that companionship does not guarantee closeness. The awareness that others are equally unable to transcend their loneliness can foster a kind of resignation, making the ache sharper and more inescapable. Rather than comfort, the encounter might underline the limits of human understanding and empathy, reminding both parties that loneliness, at its core, is often an internal state that cannot simply be talked away. Through these poignant interactions, Hellman gestures toward the profound complexity of loneliness and the delicate, sometimes insurmountable barriers that can exist even in the presence of another empathetic soul.