"Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding"
About this Quote
The genius is in "peculiar" and "unfathomable". "Peculiar" keeps it from becoming a greeting-card aphorism; it signals something off-center, a private weirdness specific to each pair. "Unfathomable" denies the modern craving to therapize love into a solvable problem. You can do the work, talk it out, learn the "right" language, and still find that the person you know best remains partly opaque. That opacity isn a failure; it is part of the charge.
The subtext carries Arbus's whole project: the belief that closeness doesn’t erase difference, and that trying to force legibility can become its own kind of violence. Understanding, in this formulation, isn omniscience; it is attention. Misunderstanding isn neglect; it is the stubborn remainder of another person’s interior life. In an era increasingly obsessed with authenticity and self-disclosure, Arbus offers a darker, steadier comfort: love survives not by conquering misreadings, but by making room for them.
Quote Details
| Topic | Love |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Arbus, Diane. (2026, January 15). Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/love-involves-a-peculiar-unfathomable-combination-4015/
Chicago Style
Arbus, Diane. "Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/love-involves-a-peculiar-unfathomable-combination-4015/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/love-involves-a-peculiar-unfathomable-combination-4015/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.












