"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another"

H. L. Mencken’s assertion, “Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another,” is a provocative reduction of romantic sentiment to a kind of psychological illusion. The statement carries a cynicism that challenges widely held beliefs about love’s uniqueness and the notion of the “one” or soulmate. Mencken suggests that people fall in love because they are tricking themselves into believing that their beloved is uniquely significant, when in reality, women (or, more broadly, romantic partners) are not substantially different from one another. This perspective undermines the idealization and personalization inherent in romantic love.

Mencken’s line might be interpreted as a commentary on the universality of human nature. He argues that individuals, specifically women, in this phrasing, share more similarities than differences, and that the distinctions we emphasize are constructs of subjective perception. When one falls in love, one elevates the object of one’s affection, projecting meaning, distinction, and individuality onto them. From Mencken’s skeptical view, this is a “delusion,” necessary for the experience of love itself.

At a deeper level, the statement can be seen as a challenge to the romantic tendency to idealize our partners and relationships. Mencken implies that love depends upon selective blindness or the need to see our beloved as fundamentally different from others, fostering attachment and devotion. Without this illusion, romantic attachment would dissolve under the recognition of sameness or banality.

While Mencken’s sentiment may appear bleak or dismissive, it also invites reflection on the powers of perception and the psychology underlying human connection. Are we truly connecting with unique individuals, or with our own projections and desires? Is love, with all its seeming profundity, merely the trick of the mind seeking novelty and distinction? Regardless of agreement, Mencken’s observation provokes consideration of love’s foundations and the role illusions play in profound human experiences.