"Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder"
About this Quote
A Wilder line like this doesn’t kick in the door; it slips a razor under the lace curtain. “Marriage is a bribe” reframes the institution as transaction, not romance: a payoff designed to keep someone doing domestic labor while believing it’s freely chosen, even ennobling. The sting lands in the wordplay between “housekeeper” and “householder.” One is hired help, the other the owner, the person whose name is on the deed and whose authority is assumed. Wilder suggests marriage often functions as a linguistic upgrade - a title change masquerading as liberation.
The subtext is less anti-love than anti-myth. He’s pointing at how social systems convert unpaid work into identity. If you can convince a woman her cleaning, cooking, and emotional maintenance are expressions of womanhood, devotion, respectability - not labor - you don’t have to pay wages or share power. The “bribe” isn’t only financial; it’s status, legitimacy, a seat at the table that may still be bolted to the floor.
Context matters: Wilder wrote in a mid-century America that sold domesticity as destiny, especially to middle-class women, even as legal and economic realities kept ownership and autonomy uneven. The line reads like a quiet indictment of a culture that offers symbolic sovereignty in exchange for real service. It’s also a warning about how institutions survive: not by force alone, but by making their bargains feel like belonging.
The subtext is less anti-love than anti-myth. He’s pointing at how social systems convert unpaid work into identity. If you can convince a woman her cleaning, cooking, and emotional maintenance are expressions of womanhood, devotion, respectability - not labor - you don’t have to pay wages or share power. The “bribe” isn’t only financial; it’s status, legitimacy, a seat at the table that may still be bolted to the floor.
Context matters: Wilder wrote in a mid-century America that sold domesticity as destiny, especially to middle-class women, even as legal and economic realities kept ownership and autonomy uneven. The line reads like a quiet indictment of a culture that offers symbolic sovereignty in exchange for real service. It’s also a warning about how institutions survive: not by force alone, but by making their bargains feel like belonging.
Quote Details
| Topic | Marriage |
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