"Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three"

Washington Irving’s observation on marriage distills a timeless understanding of human relationships, blending wit with a touch of cynicism. The phrase “the torment of one” suggests the sorrow or struggle that can exist in solitude, perhaps implying the isolation or longing that sometimes comes from being alone. It may also allude to the self-sacrifice or internal conflicts that can accompany entering into a partnership, as one’s individual desires are tempered by the needs of another.

“The felicity of two” highlights the ideal state that marriage aspires to achieve: the happiness and shared joy found when two people unite. In partnership, there exists the potential for companionship, support, mutual understanding, and a sense of completeness. Irving acknowledges marriage at its best as a harmonious state where two individuals experience collective well-being that transcends what either might find alone. The felicity is not just pleasure but also a deep, sustaining happiness grounded in togetherness, trust, and love.

However, the phrase “the strife and enmity of three” introduces an ironic and cautionary note. When a third person intrudes upon a marriage, whether through infidelity, interference from family, or other forms of triangulation, the unity dissolves, replaced by conflict and rivalry. The introduction of another party transforms what was mutual delight into discord, jealousy, and even animosity. Irving’s insight warns of the fragility of marital harmony; its balance can be easily disrupted by outside influences or divided loyalties.

Through these succinct clauses, Irving’s words encapsulate both the hope that fuels marriage and the pitfalls that can beset it. His reflection reveals the delicacy of human bonds, reminding us that while union can yield profound joy, it is also vulnerable to disruption when trust and exclusivity are compromised.