"My dad said, 'The thing that I was told that was really helpful was that I mustn't be afraid of the things I was afraid of when I was five years old'. The shock of his childhood had put him in this defensive crouch against the world, and he needed to know that he had a nice wife and kids and it wasn't the same any more"
About this Quote
The quote’s emotional engine is its quiet inversion of the usual self-help trope. It’s not “be brave” or “heal your inner child.” It’s closer to: stop letting your five-year-old self write your blocking. That specificity matters. A five-year-old’s fears are irrational, vivid, and totalizing; invoking them instantly frames trauma as primitive and bodily, not merely intellectual. The phrase “shock of his childhood” suggests a formative rupture rather than a vague hardship, and “defensive crouch” makes the cost visible: a life lived braced for impact.
Then Hooper pivots to the real subtext: love doesn’t automatically rewire you, it has to be believed. “He needed to know” that the present is safer than the past - that a “nice wife and kids” aren’t just sentimental details but hard evidence against an old worldview. It’s a portrait of masculinity not as stoic strength, but as a man learning, late, that vigilance can be a prison even when the war is over.
Quote Details
| Topic | Father |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Hooper, Tom. (2026, January 18). My dad said, 'The thing that I was told that was really helpful was that I mustn't be afraid of the things I was afraid of when I was five years old'. The shock of his childhood had put him in this defensive crouch against the world, and he needed to know that he had a nice wife and kids and it wasn't the same any more. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-dad-said-the-thing-that-i-was-told-that-was-21996/
Chicago Style
Hooper, Tom. "My dad said, 'The thing that I was told that was really helpful was that I mustn't be afraid of the things I was afraid of when I was five years old'. The shock of his childhood had put him in this defensive crouch against the world, and he needed to know that he had a nice wife and kids and it wasn't the same any more." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-dad-said-the-thing-that-i-was-told-that-was-21996/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"My dad said, 'The thing that I was told that was really helpful was that I mustn't be afraid of the things I was afraid of when I was five years old'. The shock of his childhood had put him in this defensive crouch against the world, and he needed to know that he had a nice wife and kids and it wasn't the same any more." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-dad-said-the-thing-that-i-was-told-that-was-21996/. Accessed 9 Feb. 2026.




