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Life & Mortality Quote by Gerald B. H. Solomon

"My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings"

About this Quote

The joke lands because it treats Washington as a kennel of trained reflexes: loud noise, dutiful retrieval, performative pleading, and strategic invisibility. Gerald Solomon isn’t praising his dog so much as outlining a job description for life around power. Each comparison is a miniature indictment. “Bark like a congressman” casts legislators as creatures of sound bites and outrage, more vocal than effective. “Fetch like an aide” nods to the real labor hierarchy: the people who carry the load are the least visible, running errands for someone else’s authority. “Beg like a press secretary” skewers the art of spin as a kind of public supplication, where credibility gets bartered daily to keep the boss’s narrative afloat.

The sharpest cut is saved for the receptionist who “play[s] dead when the phone rings.” It’s not just office humor; it’s an acknowledgement of institutional avoidance. Calls mean accountability, constituents, journalists, problems. Playing dead is a survival strategy in a system designed to deflect, delay, and deny access.

As a politician delivering the line, Solomon gains plausible deniability: it’s “just a joke,” aimed at his own ecosystem. That self-targeting is the alibi, and the weapon. The subtext is a cynical civics lesson: government isn’t a noble machine so much as a set of rehearsed behaviors, rewarded for noise and compliance, punished for answering the phone.

Quote Details

TopicWitty One-Liners
SourceHelp us find the source
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Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Solomon, Gerald B. H. (2026, February 17). My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-dog-can-bark-like-a-congressman-fetch-like-an-105136/

Chicago Style
Solomon, Gerald B. H. "My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings." FixQuotes. February 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-dog-can-bark-like-a-congressman-fetch-like-an-105136/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings." FixQuotes, 17 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/my-dog-can-bark-like-a-congressman-fetch-like-an-105136/. Accessed 22 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

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Gerald B. H. Solomon (born August 14, 1930) is a Politician from USA.

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