Wealth & Money Quote by Rob Simmons

A neat bit of political ventriloquism: Simmons puts his opponents on stage and makes them talk like a caricature of the modern state. The rhythm is the trick. "If it moves, tax it" lands like a punchline because it reduces sprawling fiscal policy to a single, graspable impulse: government sees motion and reaches for revenue. Then the escalation: "if it keeps moving, regulate it" suggests not just greed but control, the idea that success triggers supervision. The final turn, "and when it stops, subsidize it", is the dagger. It implies a system that penalizes vitality, burdens endurance, and then rewards failure - a cycle that feels perverse even if you disagree with the economics.

The intent is less to argue policy details than to brand a governing philosophy as self-defeating. It's a slogan designed to travel: short, memorizable, and emotionally legible to anyone who feels squeezed by taxes, paperwork, or bailouts. Subtextually, it's also a moral story: the "movers" (entrepreneurs, workers, businesses) are the protagonists; "opponents" are portrayed as cynical managers who can't tolerate independence and can't admit when their interventions cause stagnation.

Context matters. Coming out of late-20th/early-21st century fights over "big government", this line draws on public anger at regulation and especially at subsidies that look like favoritism or corporate welfare. It's a preemptive strike: before you can defend a tax, a rule, or a rescue package, you're already cast as someone who instinctively extracts, restrains, then props up the wreckage.