Daily Inspiration Quote by Abigail Van Buren

Domestic diplomacy dies on the back nine. Abigail Van Buren, dispensing advice with the sly authority of “Dear Abby,” turns a niche obsession into a universal warning about leverage: don’t issue threats you can’t enforce, especially when the other party has already chosen their god.

The line works because it pretends to be about golf, then quietly reveals it’s about power. An “ultimatum” is the language of high-stakes relationships - a last resort, meant to force clarity. Van Buren undercuts that seriousness by pairing it with a golfer, a figure culturally coded (especially in mid-century America) as stubbornly routine-bound, status-conscious, and happily unavailable for domestic negotiations. The joke lands on recognition: golf isn’t merely a hobby; it’s a schedule, a sanctuary, a social economy. If you challenge it, you’re not just competing with a pastime, you’re competing with identity.

There’s also a gendered subtext that would have been instantly legible to her readership. In an era when many women managed households while men claimed weekends and leisure, the “ultimatum” is the imagined tool of someone tired of being second to the tee time. Van Buren’s counsel isn’t exactly feminist or deferential; it’s pragmatic. If you plan to draw a line, accept the possibility you’ll be the one stepping back.

Her intent is classic advice-column realism: don’t confuse rhetorical pressure with actual bargaining power. The punchline is the lesson.