"One has children in the expectation of dying before them. In fact, you want to make damn sure you die before them, just as you plant a tree or build a house knowing, hoping that it will outlive you. That's how the human species has done as well as it has"
About this Quote
Hitchens takes the sentimental fog that usually surrounds parenthood and burns it off with a colder, older truth: having children is a wager on your own disappearance. The shock in the phrasing ("make damn sure") is doing deliberate work. It drags what polite culture keeps implicit into the open: the moral order of generations depends on parents accepting their own exit as the preferred outcome. If you need a reason the line hits, its because it reverses the usual fantasy that children are an extension of the self; here, they are evidence you are temporary.
The tree-and-house analogy is classic Hitchens: practical, unsparing, faintly contemptuous of self-dramatization. Planting and building are acts of faith with a deadline. You labor for a future you won't get to consume, and thats the point. The subtext is anti-narcissism. Parenthood, in this framing, is not about personal fulfillment or legacy-as-brand; its a disciplined transfer of care, knowledge, and opportunity to people who will outlast your tastes, your politics, your era.
Context matters: Hitchens lived as a public contrarian, suspicious of comforting lies, then faced mortality in full view. The quote reads like someone insisting that the only honest consolations are structural, not spiritual: civilization survives because individuals consent to be replaced. Its a bracing, almost evolutionary version of love - less Hallmark than hard infrastructure - and it lands because it treats continuity as something you build, not something you are owed.
The tree-and-house analogy is classic Hitchens: practical, unsparing, faintly contemptuous of self-dramatization. Planting and building are acts of faith with a deadline. You labor for a future you won't get to consume, and thats the point. The subtext is anti-narcissism. Parenthood, in this framing, is not about personal fulfillment or legacy-as-brand; its a disciplined transfer of care, knowledge, and opportunity to people who will outlast your tastes, your politics, your era.
Context matters: Hitchens lived as a public contrarian, suspicious of comforting lies, then faced mortality in full view. The quote reads like someone insisting that the only honest consolations are structural, not spiritual: civilization survives because individuals consent to be replaced. Its a bracing, almost evolutionary version of love - less Hallmark than hard infrastructure - and it lands because it treats continuity as something you build, not something you are owed.
Quote Details
| Topic | Legacy & Remembrance |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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