"One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man"
About this Quote
Equality, in Marlo Thomas's framing, isn't just a demand you make of the world; it's a standard you enforce on yourself. The line flips the usual script of rights discourse. Instead of centering the gatekeepers - bosses, institutions, men - she points to a quieter, more corrosive barrier: the internal habit of giving men the benefit of competence, authority, and forgiveness while rationing those same allowances to women, including yourself.
Thomas, coming up through mid-century entertainment and then becoming a prominent voice in feminist pop culture, understands how inequality often survives as etiquette. It's not always the blunt denial of opportunity; it's the daily choreography of deference: apologizing before speaking, downplaying ambition, calling confidence "arrogance" when it shows up in a female body. Her sentence is built like a mirror. It forces the listener to notice the double standard that lives in tone, posture, and self-talk - the soft power rules that women are trained to follow long before any official discrimination kicks in.
There's also a strategic intent here: to move feminism from policy to practice without letting it become self-help fluff. "Treat yourself equally" isn't a private affirmation; it's a political act because it changes how you negotiate pay, credit, boundaries, even the right to take up space. Thomas is asking for equality not as a permission slip, but as a discipline - one that starts where culture hides its most stubborn inequalities: inside the person who's been taught to doubt.
Thomas, coming up through mid-century entertainment and then becoming a prominent voice in feminist pop culture, understands how inequality often survives as etiquette. It's not always the blunt denial of opportunity; it's the daily choreography of deference: apologizing before speaking, downplaying ambition, calling confidence "arrogance" when it shows up in a female body. Her sentence is built like a mirror. It forces the listener to notice the double standard that lives in tone, posture, and self-talk - the soft power rules that women are trained to follow long before any official discrimination kicks in.
There's also a strategic intent here: to move feminism from policy to practice without letting it become self-help fluff. "Treat yourself equally" isn't a private affirmation; it's a political act because it changes how you negotiate pay, credit, boundaries, even the right to take up space. Thomas is asking for equality not as a permission slip, but as a discipline - one that starts where culture hides its most stubborn inequalities: inside the person who's been taught to doubt.
Quote Details
| Topic | Equality |
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