"Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria"
About this Quote
Wolf’s word choices do the dirty work. “Get other people to believe” turns the private body into a public argument, a performance under suspicion. “Madness” and “hysteria” aren’t neutral diagnoses; they’re historical weapons, especially used against women, to reframe distress as instability and thereby dismiss it. The subtext is feminist and institutional: disbelief isn’t just personal coldness, it’s a mechanism. If your pain can be reclassified as irrational, it can be ignored, underpaid, untreated, or punished.
Context matters because Wolf emerges from a late-20th-century landscape where women’s pain was routinely minimized in medicine and public life, and where “believe women” would later crystallize into a political demand. The quote anticipates that shift by naming the core battleground: not whether pain exists, but who gets to certify it as real.
There’s a hard, unsettling implication here: validation can be lifesaving, yet it also makes recognition the gatekeeper of reality. In Wolf’s framing, the cruelest part of suffering is the extra labor of proving you deserve to be believed.
Quote Details
| Topic | Mental Health |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Wolf, Naomi. (n.d.). Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/pain-is-real-when-you-get-other-people-to-believe-155675/
Chicago Style
Wolf, Naomi. "Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria." FixQuotes. Accessed February 2, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/pain-is-real-when-you-get-other-people-to-believe-155675/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria." FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/pain-is-real-when-you-get-other-people-to-believe-155675/. Accessed 2 Feb. 2026.








