Parenting Quote by T. Berry Brazelton

Brazelton’s line flips the default indictment of parental failure. Instead of treating mistakes as evidence of neglect, he frames them as collateral damage from devotion. That reversal matters because modern parenting culture is built on surveillance and scorekeeping: sleep apps, milestone charts, “gentle” versus “strict,” the constant sense that a child’s future is a referendum on today’s choices. In that atmosphere, error feels morally loaded. Brazelton unloads it.

The intent is clinical and merciful. As a pediatrician who spent decades translating child development for anxious adults, Brazelton knew most parents aren’t cold; they’re flooded. The subtext is that care can distort judgment. Love doesn’t automatically produce clarity; it can produce overcorrection, control, panic, inconsistency, projection. The deepest investment creates the strongest fear of getting it wrong, and fear is a famously bad decision-maker. The sentence also quietly redeems the imperfect parent by separating motive from outcome: you can be sincerely trying and still miss the mark.

It works rhetorically because it validates without absolving. “Because they care so deeply” doesn’t erase harm; it explains the mechanism that generates it. The line invites a more productive next step: replace shame with curiosity. What was the fear underneath the rule, the snap, the hovering? Brazelton offers a softer lens, not to romanticize mistakes, but to make accountability survivable enough to attempt.