"People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch"
About this Quote
That’s classic Nicholson as a screen persona: the charismatic brute who sees through performance and resents anyone trying to control the room with polish. The profanity isn’t decorative; it’s a rhetorical strategy. It asserts dominance by yanking the conversation out of the head and into the groin, where shame and hierarchy live. The line also winks at acting itself. Movies thrive on subtext, symbolism, metaphor - yet Nicholson, the actor, channels a character who wants everything plain, raw, and unmediated. That contradiction is the point: audiences love a figure who can accuse everyone else of bullshit while still being part of the bullshit-making machine.
Culturally, it plays like a late-20th-century sneer at “artsy” language, a populist aggression toward intellectuals and therapists and anyone who narrates life instead of living it. It’s not an argument against metaphor so much as a demand for honesty delivered in the least “honest” way possible: with maximal provocation.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Unverified source: As Good As It Gets (screenplay) (Jack Nicholson, 1997)
Evidence: People who talk in metaphors can shampoo my crotch.. This line is character dialogue spoken by Melvin Udall (played by Jack Nicholson) in the 1997 film *As Good as It Gets* (directed by James L. Brooks). The wording commonly repeated online (“speak” vs “talk”; “should”/“oughta” vs “can”) appea... Other candidates (1) Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Quintessential Collection of... (Bathroom Readers' Institute, 2012) compilation95.0% ... People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch . ” —Jack Nicholson BARBARA EHRENREICH This bestselling au... |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Nicholson, Jack. (2026, February 8). People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/people-who-speak-in-metaphors-should-shampoo-my-35258/
Chicago Style
Nicholson, Jack. "People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch." FixQuotes. February 8, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/people-who-speak-in-metaphors-should-shampoo-my-35258/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch." FixQuotes, 8 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/people-who-speak-in-metaphors-should-shampoo-my-35258/. Accessed 13 Feb. 2026.




