"Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames"
About this Quote
The craft is in the pivot. He offers two checkpoints where the “truth” arrives: the melodramatic end of an affair, and the supposedly respectable entry into marriage. That second clause is the dagger. Moore refuses the comforting narrative that commitment completes passion. Instead, he implies marriage is where fantasy gets audited by routine, obligation, and the daily friction of selves. The “sweet emotions” aren’t villainized; they are seductively framed as guides that “lead us” into marriage, like charming accomplices in our own self-deception.
“Turn down their flames” is domestic imagery disguised as romance: not a lightning strike but a dimmer switch, not tragedy but gradual cooling. The subtext is almost sociological: the institution that promises permanence can also expose how much romantic intensity depends on uncertainty, distance, and idealization. Moore isn’t arguing against love as such; he’s puncturing a specific cultural product - the notion that passion is a stable foundation for lifelong partnership - and showing how the bill comes due precisely when society tells you you’ve “won.”
Quote Details
| Topic | Romantic |
|---|---|
| Source | Thomas Moore — Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life (1992). Contains the passage beginning "Romantic love is an illusion..." |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Moore, Thomas. (n.d.). Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/romantic-love-is-an-illusion-most-of-us-discover-11124/
Chicago Style
Moore, Thomas. "Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames." FixQuotes. Accessed February 1, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/romantic-love-is-an-illusion-most-of-us-discover-11124/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames." FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/romantic-love-is-an-illusion-most-of-us-discover-11124/. Accessed 1 Feb. 2026.








