"Security is like virginity: you're either a virgin or you're not. You either have security or you don't"
About this Quote
The subtext is political, aimed at audiences tempted by half-measures and symbolic assurances. This is a statesman’s way of saying: stop selling risk management as protection. It’s also a warning about the asymmetry of threats. A state can spend years building institutions, alliances, and deterrence, and an adversary needs only one breach - a coup, an invasion, a compromised border, a captured information channel - to prove the system’s promises were conditional. The metaphor is intentionally uncomfortable because complacency is comfortable.
Context matters. Meri led Estonia through the post-Soviet 1990s, when “security” wasn’t an abstract policy category but a question of whether your country would remain a country. For small states bordering larger powers, security isn’t a gradient; it’s a binary enforced by reality. The line doubles as a case for hard guarantees - NATO, credible defense, resilient institutions - and an indictment of the soothing fiction that neutrality, goodwill, or technical fixes can substitute for them.
Quote Details
| Topic | Privacy & Cybersecurity |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Meri, Lennart. (2026, January 15). Security is like virginity: you're either a virgin or you're not. You either have security or you don't. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/security-is-like-virginity-youre-either-a-virgin-75881/
Chicago Style
Meri, Lennart. "Security is like virginity: you're either a virgin or you're not. You either have security or you don't." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/security-is-like-virginity-youre-either-a-virgin-75881/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Security is like virginity: you're either a virgin or you're not. You either have security or you don't." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/security-is-like-virginity-youre-either-a-virgin-75881/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.









