"She became so important to them that they wondered how they had ever managed without her in the past. And the longer she stayed with them the more indispensable she became, so indispensable in fact that their one fear was that she might some day move on"
About this Quote
Ende nails a quietly sinister dynamic: devotion that curdles into dependency. The sentence begins like a warm domestic miracle story - someone arrives and suddenly life runs smoother, brighter, easier. But he structures it as a ratchet. "So important" becomes "indispensable", and then "their one fear" lands like a trapdoor. Affection is no longer about who she is; its center of gravity shifts to what she prevents: the return of inconvenience, loneliness, disorder, the old life that now feels impossible.
The intent feels less romantic than diagnostic. Ende is probing how communities (families, workplaces, even nations) turn a person into infrastructure. That first astonishment - how did we ever manage? - is the moment gratitude starts rewriting memory. The past gets downgraded, not because it was unlivable, but because dependence makes previous competence feel unreal. In that sense, the line is about narrative control: once someone becomes "indispensable", everyone else’s self-image is quietly edited down.
Subtext: the group’s need is not stable; it grows to match the service provided. The longer she stays, the less they practice the skills and responsibilities she has absorbed. Their fear that she might "move on" isn’t merely emotional attachment; it’s an existential anxiety about autonomy. In Ende’s broader literary world, where enchantment often exposes moral weakness, this reads like a warning: being needed can look like love, and can be just as consuming. The most unsettling part is that no one has to be cruel for this to happen. Dependency can be built out of praise.
The intent feels less romantic than diagnostic. Ende is probing how communities (families, workplaces, even nations) turn a person into infrastructure. That first astonishment - how did we ever manage? - is the moment gratitude starts rewriting memory. The past gets downgraded, not because it was unlivable, but because dependence makes previous competence feel unreal. In that sense, the line is about narrative control: once someone becomes "indispensable", everyone else’s self-image is quietly edited down.
Subtext: the group’s need is not stable; it grows to match the service provided. The longer she stays, the less they practice the skills and responsibilities she has absorbed. Their fear that she might "move on" isn’t merely emotional attachment; it’s an existential anxiety about autonomy. In Ende’s broader literary world, where enchantment often exposes moral weakness, this reads like a warning: being needed can look like love, and can be just as consuming. The most unsettling part is that no one has to be cruel for this to happen. Dependency can be built out of praise.
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
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