"So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them"
About this Quote
The subtext is a rebuttal to two seductive fantasies. One is total determinism: you are your origin story, so your future is just reruns. The other is hyper-agency: just decide to be better and you will. Chbosky threads a third path: you don’t get to choose the first chapter, but you can still author revisions. Notice how the language shifts from abstract (“reasons,” “power,” “choose”) to plain, almost childlike verbs: “go,” “do,” “try.” It’s agency scaled to human size.
Context matters: Chbosky’s work is steeped in adolescent interiority, where every feeling is absolute and every mistake feels permanent. The quote offers a pragmatic mercy. “We can try to feel okay” isn’t a demand for happiness; it’s permission to live with imperfect choices, to keep moving without full understanding or clean absolution. That’s the quiet radicalism here: not self-mythology, not self-blame, just forward motion with a little grace.
Quote Details
| Topic | New Beginnings |
|---|---|
| Source | The Perks of Being a Wallflower — Stephen Chbosky (1999). Passage appears in the novel; commonly quoted. See Wikiquote for the book. |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Chbosky, Stephen. (2026, January 15). So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/so-i-guess-we-are-who-we-are-for-alot-of-reasons-172992/
Chicago Style
Chbosky, Stephen. "So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/so-i-guess-we-are-who-we-are-for-alot-of-reasons-172992/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/so-i-guess-we-are-who-we-are-for-alot-of-reasons-172992/. Accessed 13 Feb. 2026.











