"So you shouldn't really flatter yourself that they want to be your buddy. They don't. Generally. They want you for some reason or other, and you just have to fend that off all the time"
About this Quote
Kurt Loder’s line lands like a friendly warning delivered with a raised eyebrow: stop romanticizing attention. The brusque rhythm - “They don’t. Generally.” - is doing the real work here. It mimics the way a seasoned reporter talks when he’s tired of euphemisms, when he’s watched too many backstage smiles curdle into transactional asks. The intent isn’t to turn you into a misanthrope; it’s to immunize you against the soft-drug fantasy that proximity equals affection.
The subtext is about power and access, especially in media ecosystems where “buddy” is a currency word. Loder came up in the era when MTV and celebrity journalism blurred the line between coverage and hangout culture. In that world, everyone learns the same trick: make it personal so the ask feels harmless. His phrasing “for some reason or other” is deliberately vague because the motive hardly matters. It could be a quote, a favor, an introduction, a photo, credibility by association. The point is that the demand arrives wearing a grin.
“Fend that off all the time” is the bleak punchline: boundary-setting isn’t a one-time speech, it’s maintenance. The sentence assumes a constant low-grade siege, the kind that comes with visibility or influence. Loder’s cynicism is less worldview than workplace safety manual. If you accept the buddy story, you’ll feel guilty when you say no; if you see the transaction, you can decline without self-drama. That’s the survival logic underneath the sting.
The subtext is about power and access, especially in media ecosystems where “buddy” is a currency word. Loder came up in the era when MTV and celebrity journalism blurred the line between coverage and hangout culture. In that world, everyone learns the same trick: make it personal so the ask feels harmless. His phrasing “for some reason or other” is deliberately vague because the motive hardly matters. It could be a quote, a favor, an introduction, a photo, credibility by association. The point is that the demand arrives wearing a grin.
“Fend that off all the time” is the bleak punchline: boundary-setting isn’t a one-time speech, it’s maintenance. The sentence assumes a constant low-grade siege, the kind that comes with visibility or influence. Loder’s cynicism is less worldview than workplace safety manual. If you accept the buddy story, you’ll feel guilty when you say no; if you see the transaction, you can decline without self-drama. That’s the survival logic underneath the sting.
Quote Details
| Topic | Fake Friends |
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